Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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