Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize