she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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