Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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