fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
