I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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