guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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