im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
