If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
