What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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