my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
