so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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