Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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