my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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