East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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