He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
