Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
