her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
