I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
