A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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