and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
