Small penises have feelings too.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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