I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize