I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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