Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
