You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
