Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
