is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize