I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
