Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
