so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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