There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
