Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The best revenge is premature balding
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
