I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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