She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
