we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
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honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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