you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
