I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
