Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize