i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
