Redeem this text for a blowjob
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
