dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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