U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize
