Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
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All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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