I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
