and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
