Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
