You made me cry and you don't even care
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
4 words: hood of his car
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
