I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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