epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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