You smell like stripper and shame
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
