the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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