Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
