you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize