So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
