Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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