Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Congratulations! We have a period
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
