this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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