my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
