32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
