i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
