Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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