We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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