i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think my fart just growled at me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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